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We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives.

Raise. Awareness.

For the uninformed, vaginismus is when the vagina painfully tightens and spasms when faced with pressure, usually from anything trying to insert into the vagina. It’s the reason I can’t wear tampons, and why many people can’t have vaginal sex without severe pain.

There’s not a lot of treatments, and there isn’t a single one that is for vaginismus exclusively - they’re all medications or treatments to treat symptoms, but not the causes. In fact, for a long time doctors waved off vaginismus as a purely psychological disorder in cis women.

Seriously, this is so unaddressed and uncared for in medical circles. Please spread awareness, even if all it’s for is to let those who have it but don’t have a name for it finally be able to understand what’s happening to their bodies.

Okay, so this has 75,000 notes and it bothers me that even a fraction of those people might have vaginismus are reblogging a post that says there’s basically no treatments. There are treatments. 

For a start, you can find a psychologist/sexologist who can do you up a treatment program and get you through it. Or you can sign up to an internet programme or buy a book/kit. Or if you want to save some money or keep this private, you can give this a go:

First, you’ll need to buy dilators. If you’re wondering what they are, they’re like un-fun dildos with handles. This will cost you some money, probably about $50 depending on what you get. I’d recommend getting this set because they have a good range of sizes and are a well-designed shape, although shop around because different products have different starting sizes and stepping points, so if you need something that starts smaller you might find something if you look hard enough. 

Second, you need to use them gradually over a period of months until you can accommodate the size you want without issue. Obviously, start with the smallest one, and use it for at least a couple of times until you move onto the next size up. 

To use it, you basically insert it into your vagina, try to clamp around it a few times, and then take it out and try again the next day. This can be easier said than done, of course, but there are ways to make it easier. First of all, try using it when aroused - you’ll be a lot looser and your spasms shouldn’t be as bad. Also, natural lubricant works better than manufactured stuff, although for the love of good please use bottle lube if you need it. 

You don’t need to move it around or thrust with it like you might a didlo - in fact, people with vaginismus can find this uncomfortable. What you should do, however, is clench around it. If you’re particularly anxious the first time, or find it especially painful or uncomfortable, you can skip this step the first time you use it - and congratulate yourself, because that’s a big step. Even better, and something that will speed up the process considerably, is if you can orgasm around it. This will allow your vaginal muscles to clench naturally. If you can’t do this, don’t worry about it, but make sure you try to clench your muscles around it several times before removal. 

When you can do that without pain and with no or minimum discomfort, you can move to the next size up. Most dilators are good for the first few increases, although it’ll still feel very large to you. If you’re anxious or uncomfortable, go slow, try to relax, and if possible, do it in the middle of masturbating. It really is the easiest way to do it. Don’t move on until you’re comfortable with the one you’re using, and use the smaller size directly before moving onto the larger one. Even on the third and fourth time you use a bigger size, you might still need to “warm up” with a smaller one. That’s okay; I still have to use a dilator before sex. The important thing is to be comfortable about it. 

It takes a while, but it can be so worth it, and you might be surprised how fast you can progress. And remember to go at your own pace, especially if you hit a roadblock, and that there’s nothing wrong with you. There are ways to deal with vaginismus. Don’t give up.

Don't be the product, buy the product!